Let's get one thing straight right off the bat. Superman 2 is the best Superman film ever. You agree, right? Ok, good. Well, remember that scene where Zod and friends change the faces on Mount Rushmore? Totally awesome, right? In honor of Mother's Day, I'm going to do my own defacing of Mount Rushmore. Cause really, who isn't tired of George's dour mug staring at us all day long? I'm going to replace those four old white dudes with four middle-aged white women! Why? Because they represent everything that is right with our fair land, even if only one of them is actually from here.
Bjork is a-how do I put it- slightly overprotective mom. Here's some video evidence:
She's also a tiger mom, but not in the figurative sense. I guess you could say she's more a bald-mom-that-morphs-into-a-cyber-liger-mom. Makes for interesting parent-teacher-conferences.
Kate Bush wrote one of the greatest pop songs ever when she was thirteen, so she's got very high expectations for her children. Sure, you've got straight A's, but where's the #1 single????!!! Get it together, kid.
PJ Harvey is probably the best mom here. She's weird, for sure, but very accepting of her children's eccentricities. She actually signs her kids up for primal scream therapy. She says it gets out any repressed anger that might be held over from a past life. Below is one of her personal sessions.
Liz Phair is a TMI mom. When her daughter was ten, she was telling her stories about one-night stands and college experimentation. She's a great storyteller, but an ABORT button would be useful at times.
Have a happy Mother's Day, and be nice to your Mom. No matter how tense your relationship might be at times, at least she's not Ursa from Superman 2.
Ursa's cold as ice! You invite her to Planet Houston for Mother's Day dinner, and she brings over this big hairy lug who keeps trying to set the meat loaf on fire by shooting lasers out of his eyes. You send a floral arrangement to show her your love, and she laughs at the pathetic sentimentality of humans. She never truly accepts Lois as a member of the family, and you even get the feeling she's jealous of your relationship. That's without even mentioning Uncle Zod, who rides you so hard that you inevitably start throwing each other into billboards. I swear, it's like they're from another planet!
