Radiohead-Talk Show Host

My good friend told me over winter break that she lucked into a ticket to a Radiohead concert. She doesn't know that much about the band, but is very excited to go. The person she's going with, on the other hand, is a huge music dork like me. My friend joked that she needs a Radiohead primer to sound informed during the show.

Now she might have been joking to the extent that she wasn't hinting that she desperately wanted me to make her a chronological best of accompanied by a one to two page synopsis of the band's career arc. There's definitely that chance. But juuuuuuuust in case, I decided to do just that!

While putting together the best of was a bit of a challenge, I knew that the best way to avoid the potential psychological trauma created by cutting tracks was to put a time limit on the creation of the mix. I needed to just cut myself off at some point from vacillating between such life or death choices as whether to put two or three tracks from Amnesiac. In fact, I just remembered that I didn't put "Pyramid Song" on the mix, and I'm on the verge of some sort of mid-blog-post psychological breakdown. Surely there has to be a medical term for this by now.

The most troublesome part of this whole process is the one to two page synopsis of the band's career. I mean that's not to say I couldn't write it, because I've definitely read enough Radiohead fanboy books in my day to know which brand of paper towel was most popular in Thom Yorke's childhood home. But it's so boooring to write (and thus read) something like that. So since it's Superbowl Sunday, and 750 gazillion people will be gawking at ads costing up to 7.3 quadrillion dollars per second, I've decided to incorporate some advertising themes into my Radiohead discussion. My message aims to fall in line with Radiohead's sometimes borderline cliche anti-corporation, anti-politicians, anti-making-consistent-albums-anymore stance. Here goes:


Radiohead. A band you can believe in. A band at the forefront of cutting-edge technology, with a wealth of new songs utilizing the newest gadgets, gizmos, and sometimes even musical instruments. Feeling disenchanted with modern life? Tired of disingenuous politicians mudslinging and lying to your face? Tired of the the everyday grind of all work and no play? Well have I got a band for you!!! Radiohead sings about the monotony of the morning commute, conniving conservatives disseminating propaganda, as well as the necessity of bringing small snacks like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to a potentially protracted gunfight.

Radiohead is a band for the people, by the people, that is deathly afraid of the people. You know. THOSE PEOPLE. The people that are out to get you. TURN AROUND!!!! See? Them. This healthy distrust of people with any sort of authority or muscular tone has helped the band connect with the special people of the world. Special people like you. If you want a band as unique, intelligent, and cripplingly insecure as you are, you need to try Radiohead today. In fact, we'll let you name your own price! We know that you've been manipulated through guilt your entire life, and will somehow rationalize paying more than what we were originally going to charge anyway. Enjoy!